


i pour my heart into your hands

by parkrstark



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Light Angst, Sleepy Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 04:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18066317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: Insomnia has a tight hold on Tony. But, it's not much of a match for Peter Parker.





	i pour my heart into your hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [losingmymindtonight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/losingmymindtonight/gifts).



> This is written for my love @losingmymindtonight…it’s not much and it’s not very good, but I hope you can still enjoy it. I love you so much and the world really is a better place since you came along. I have no idea what’d I’d do if I didn’t have you by my side through all of this. I doubt I’d be where I am. I thank God every day for you. And I hope one day I can give you all of this love in person, but until then, I’ll take our late night conversations…even if you always fall asleep…so this fic, this fic is for you and the words you said to me one night I will never forget. 
> 
> title taken from the song better place by rachel platten...can't really think of a better song to dedicate to you.

Tony wasn’t a stranger to not sleeping. For him, it was as common as breathing. 

Insomnia claimed him every night before sleep could. Maybe at one point in his life sleep used to try and put up a fight, but now it must have known it was fighting a losing battle. No matter how loud exhaustion begged, sleep never answered. 

Insomnia was never alone though, so maybe sleep just wasn’t invited. Maybe the VIP list consisted of only insomnia, fear, and anxiety. 

It was really nothing new, so most times it didn’t bother him. He could easily distract himself with other things like tinkering in his workshop or working through emails and stuff Pepper put aside for him. 

It was lonely as hell and sometimes even the bots weren’t enough to keep the pit in his stomach from making itself known. The empty feeling could only be numbed with alcohol-- and lots of it. 

That was, until Peter Parker came into his life. It didn’t happen right away, but soon after the whole Coney Island fiasco, Tony started having him the lab and working alongside him. 

They worked well together. When Tony lacked something, Peter filled it. They meshed perfectly and before long, Tony completely forgot what it was like  _ not  _ to have a little shadow of his by his side. 

Peter became a constant in his life, just like the insomnia. But also just like the insomnia, he was invited to the late nights. He was more often than not up until the early hours of the morning watching movies or doing something in the lab with him. Even if it wasn’t all night, it was something.

And selfishly, Tony loved it because he finally had someone to chase away any worries that may have been bothering him. It was easy to forget about everything bothering him when he had the kid by his side. He wished it was always like that.

 

However, the kid didn’t share Tony’s knack for staying awake for days. He actually had a surprisingly healthy sleep schedule. And as much as Tony hated seeing the kid off to sleep, he’d rather him get the sleep he needed than drag him down with him. He could deal with the lonely nights. He was used to it. He hoped Peter  _ never  _ learned the feeling. 

And the kid could fall asleep just about anywhere. And he did. 

It didn’t matter if they were at a lab desk or on the couch, Peter knocked out when his body needed the sleep. Sometimes Tony found himself feeling a little jealous, but if it had to be one of them, he was glad it was Peter. 

As the months and years passed, Tony became an expert in knowing when the kid was getting sleepy enough to fall asleep. He’d talk slower and rub his eyes to try and chase away the drowsiness. He’d get even clingier than usual, looking for someone to cuddle up with and fall asleep. (Tony will never forget the first time Peter caught Rhodey after an exhausting mission and he was the kid’s pillow all night). 

When he saw these signs, he knew to cajole the kid to a couch or bed so he could sleep normally. He learned early that if he didn’t persuade the kid in time, he was caring a Spider-Kid lump to his bedroom in the tower. And his back did not appreciate him very much for that. 

 

Unfortunately, time kept ticking and before either of them knew it, Peter graduated high school. And then it was time for college and Peter packed his bags for MIT. Which again, selfishly, Tony wasn’t too happy about when it came to moving him in. He always knew the kid was going there-- he had the brains and the passion. He was a perfect fit. He just didn’t think about the part where he’d have to  _ leave  _ him there...

No more dropping by the Parkers for dinner every now and then. No more picking him up from school and taking him to the lab. No more watching the kid drool all over himself during movie nights. No more worrying about him webbing around Queens at all hours of the night.

 

They kept in touch of course. There wasn't a day when Peter wasn't blowing up Tony’s phone with text messages. It wasn’t the same as talking in person, but it was enough. 

Just like always though, when it started getting late, Peter crashed. Tony was left awake as the notifications stopped for the night. 

The funny part was, was that it was never an official goodnight either. They'd be in the middle of talking about something and suddenly, Peter would stop responding. After the first time it happened, Tony panicked and had Karen (of course, he installed her in the kid’s phone) scan Peter and relay to FRIDAY and Tony that he was in fact just sleeping. From then on, Tony always knew the kid had just passed out mid-text. 

 

One night, close to finals, Peter had video called Tony. He was exhausted and all of his studying was taking a toll on him. He was working himself to the bone. Tony told him to take it easy, but of course, he didn’t listen. 

Peter was laying down in bed, holding the phone to his face close enough that it could shine some light on him. It was enough illumination for Tony to see the bags under his eyes. 

Just like always, Tony was awake and welcomed the distraction from his own mess. Not only was he a distraction, but he made Tony feel calm and at peace for once. He genuinely felt a million times better when talking to him. 

“You look like crap, kiddo.” 

“Oh, thanks,” Peter mumbled, yawning loudly. 

“Sleepy?” Tony grinned, teasing clear in his voice.

“Shut up. You know my brain needs its 9 hours of sleep,” he replied sluggishly. “Doesn’t work without. I’m a mess.” 

“9 hours? Is that even possible?” Tony joked, although truthfully, he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept longer than 6 hours a night. His average was about 4. 

Peter rolled his eyes; he wasn't good at disguising his sassiness when he was exhausted. “You're ridiculous. You actually concern me. You may know?” 

Despite the genuine worry in Peter’s voice, Tony chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. I concern myself too.” He paused to shrug his shoulders. “But I've turned out fine so far.” 

“Surprisingly.” 

“Hey, none of that. Don't bully your old man. He's fragile in his old age.” 

Peter smiled softly, his eyes drifting shut before fluttering back open again. “Not my fault. Make it so darn easy.”

“I liked you better when you were in high school and afraid of me,” Tony said, lowering his voice so it was more soothing to help Peter fall asleep.

“Never afraid of you. Just starstruck. Big difference.” 

Tony watched as he struggled to keep his eyes open. “Oh, yeah. Both of them made you have a little respect for me. So I don't care which we go with.” 

“Saw you drop a slice of pizza on the floor and pick up, dip it in ranch dressing and eat it without hesitation. All my respect for you is gone,” Peter replied, his eyes shutting closed again. They stayed shut for a few seconds before he peeled them back open.

Tony smiled at him and said, “You know you can go to sleep right?”

“M’fine,” he lied, trying to widen his eyes even more. Tony could see the desperation in his eyes to sleep. 

“You need sleep, Pete. I don't wanna keep you up.”

Peter shook his head, his curls bouncing slightly. “If I wanted to sleep, I would have just fallen asleep already.” 

Tony laughed. “Tell me about it, kid. You always fall asleep when I'm talking to you. Am I that boring?” 

It was meant as a joke, but in less than a second, Peter answered genuinely, “No, I fall asleep talking to you because you make me feel safe.” 

Tony paused, his mind unable to understand the words Peter just said. “Pete--.” 

“I'm serious,” Peter said, finally letting his eyes shut for good. “I'm can fall asleep ‘round you ‘cus I know I’m safe. Thank you.” 

Tony couldn't understand why this kid would trust him of all people. Or why he would even waste his time with him. But there was something that drew Peter to him and he hoped it never disappeared. Because he'd give anything for that kid. He'd die for him. The kid didn't understand just how much he meant to Tony. Even if Tony told him so every day, he still wouldn't understand. It was indescribable. 

But if Peter trusted him, then he going to protect that trust with everything he had. 

 

Truthfully, Tony enjoyed the times that Peter stopped answering and was finally asleep. Because even if it meant leaving him all alone, at least he was getting some sleep. He was safe and asleep. 

Which speaking of, Peter was safe and  _ finally  _ asleep on the video call. He was asleep with his head on his pillow and his phone resting in his hand, though the view from the phone camera was slightly crooked now. He was snoring softly and Tony knew he was out for the night. 

He smiled and said, “Goodnight, Petey. I'll be here when you wake up.” 

_ And until you do, I’ll keep you safe.  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> She does fall asleep randomly. We'll be talking one moment and then the next she's asleep. It's okay though. One night I was my usual self-deprecating self and said she always fell asleep bc I was that boring and she responded with "no i fall asleep bc you make me feel safe so ha" and my heart just burst right there.  
> God i love her


End file.
